Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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