wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
