oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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