I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I want to fling myself into the sun
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
