i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
