how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
