my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
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