yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
