i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
40s are totally the cure
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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