You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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