Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
