You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
