I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
