Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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