Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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