they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
