Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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