He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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