So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
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It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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