DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
