she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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