I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
