he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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