she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
