Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
