I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
