Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I can feel your judgement through the phone
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