i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize