What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
