Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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