just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
