I wanna bring you to show and tell
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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