I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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