I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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