So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She's the barista slut.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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