Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
