i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Randomize
