did you get engaged???
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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