You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
