We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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