shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
