Screwed.edu
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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