So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
