One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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