Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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