I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
