Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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