hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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