Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
