you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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