I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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