beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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