I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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