I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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