how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.