The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.