Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff