i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
