i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
