I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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