So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
When are your genitals available?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
