I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
