This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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