In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
